Teaching the monks

I’m not sure how many sports writers from Bethesda can say they’ve spent a week teaching monks in Thailand, but let’s add another name to the list.

I have now taught four full English lessons to the monks-in-training at the Temple School in Ban Phe, Thailand and I can honestly say that I’m getting the hang of it.

I can also tell you it has been an amazing experience. My lessons have covered such riveting subjects as birthday gifts (“What did you get for your birthday? I got a ball. What color was it?…), shopping (“What did you buy? I bought a hat. Where were you shopping?…), and sports (the monks didn’t know about Paradorn Srichaphan; what are they teaching these kids?). But it was great fun, and I am really looking forward to doing it for real.

It should surprise no one to hear that monks, even at 12 years old, are extremely well behaved, attentive, and generally wonderful people. But rest assured that everything you’ve heard is true.

In addition to being completely adorable, the monks are definitely the best students I’ve ever met. At the end of each lesson, they all rise in unison and recite, “Thank you, teacher. I’ll see you next time.” And on our last day at the school, they all went around with their notebooks and asked for our email addresses.

The real test will come when I have to teach actual public school students in a few days.

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On to Bangkok

Sitting in an internet cafe in the glorified fish market that is Ban Phe, Thailand, I’m not sure what to expect as I prepare to spend the next six days in Bangkok for something called ‘cultural orientation’ from the wonderful people at Media Kids (that would be the Thai placement service that claims to have found me a job somewhere in Thailand but refuses to tell me where in Thailand that might be).

Hopefully this cultural orientation program will include someone from Media Kids telling me where I’ll be working for the next four months. I’ve heard whispers about a place called Angthong Province, which is apparently about two hours north of Bangkok, near Ayuthaya. I’ve also heard that I’ll be living with two guys named Eric and Darrin and that three girls (Leah, Taryn, and Kat) will be in the same town working at another school. But I won’t believe it until I actually get to a school and they tell me I have a job there.

As for Bangkok, it should be six fairly interesting days. The last time the 60 of us went the same place for a weekend, about seven of us lost our cameras, at least two lost their wallets, one was robbed twice in consecutive days (the first time they took everything except his cigarettes and insect repellant; the next night someone stole those), and I got the worst sunburn of my life.

That was just a weekend on Ko Samet, an island about three miles wide and maybe seven miles long. One can only imagine what might happen to us in one of the larger cities in the world.

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Pimp my bus

One of the many things in Thailand that are wonderfully stuck in the 70s is the public buses. This is the one we took from the airport to our wonderfully-stuck-in-the-70s rooms at the Rayong Condo Chain. As you can see, the entire ceiling was upholstered with a two-toned lime green/turquoise pattern that paired nicely with the lime green paneling and turquoise curtains.

The exterior was painted with a strange Hippie/Asian fusion that was every bit as ridiculous as you are probably imagining it. We thought we had somehow stepped onto the strangest bus in Thailand until we stopped for gas and saw three more just like it.

These things are everywhere down here, along with the pickup-truck taxis (you sit on benches in the truck bed) and the motorcycles with the little passenger cart on the side, which are also used as taxis. Most of the locals ride motorbikes, though some actually have fairly normal-looking cars.

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My roommate the fugitive

Apparently, this is the sort of character you run into when you sign up to teach people English in a foreign country. My roommate, Simon, is a Brit whose current address is in Los Angeles. He is the sort of guy who wears cologne to the beach, and he has apparently sampled such exotic substances as copier toner in his younger days.

He is also a large fan of rum (and the local rice whiskey). The photo above was taken the night we found a bottle of MC Hammer rum at the supermarket in Ban Phe and had to have it. Rest assured, there were more than enough ‘Hammer Time’ jokes that night.

Simon used to be a travel agent with STA Travel. He might still be a travel agent for a few more days, since he never bothered to tell anyone he was leaving. He was apparently supposed to move to the California office a few weeks ago, but he never showed up. Instead, he told his boss he wasn’t feeling too well and hopped on a plane to Thailand.

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Our beach

That’s the scene right outside our front door at the Rayong Condo Chain.

And that’s my roommate Simon sitting on one of the most comfortable beach chairs ever invented. I don’t know how they do it, but these chairs look like they cost about 12 cents to make and they are twice as comfortable as anything back home.

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